With the Memorial weekend upon us I was in bed most the day. Of course with a storm coming the headache was slight at first but stayed in bed so it would leave. I was invited to a graduation party that I was truly looking forward to but by the time it was to go not even the medicine helped me get out the door. I hate this. I know some people understand but I also know it hurts feelings and hurts me. I was petrified there would be too many people there. I trust my friend if she is mad at me for not coming she won’t be for long. She understands she was probably more disappointed I don’t know yet. I was disappointed in myself believe me.
How many things I have missed because of this is crazy. I won Barry Manilow tickets one time all I had to do was sing one of his songs and I won. The night of the concert I had to give the tickets away. 😦 Theresa Caputo “The Long Island Medium” Won tickets to see her once too. I had seen her here in town once but the tickets I won had to give to another as I couldn’t get out of bed. Weddings, birthday parties, baby showers and more. This is no life. When I color I seem somewhat sane. When I have an opportunity to volunteer and transport rescue dogs I smile because I feel somewhat useful. In this continued un-useful start I seem to linger in daily I do have moments of laughter and loads of tears.
Shoot with the doctor changing my pain medications I feel like I am back to square one with my back pain. I have been working hard at getting more and more steps in. Was able to walk Prince around a whole block in our area. That was huge for me. Now I can barely walk a few homes down and back. He does enjoy the dog park though. Even then if we get there and there is more that a few people there I won’t stop. Believe me I know there are people far worse off than I fighting cancers and big, big deals. For me though this is my big deal. I am far from the person I used to be and definitely far from the person I strive to be.
Noun
1. the act of depressing.
2. the state of being depressed.
3. a depressed or sunken place or part; an area lower than the surrounding surface.
4. sadness; gloom; dejection.
5. Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal;sadness
greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.
Compare clinical depression.
6. dullness or inactivity, as of trade.
7. Economics. a period during which business, employment, and stock-market values decline severely or remain at a very low level of activity.
8. the Depression, Great Depression.
9. Pathology. a low state of vital powers or functional activity.
10. Astronomy. the angular distance of a celestial body below the horizon;negative altitude.
11. Surveying. the angle between the line from an observer or instrumento an object below either of them and a horizontal line.
12. Physical Geography. an area completely or mostly surrounded by higher land, ordinarily having interior drainage and not conforming to the valley of a single stream.
13. Meteorology. an area of low atmospheric pressure.
Why do I put in definitions from time to time? To try and understand more myself I suppose. I love to scrapbook and make cards. Haven’t done either in so long I don’t remember the last time I did. It saddens me that this is where I am today. As if getting older isn’t hard enough with aches and pains, things sagging, leaking, and what not but struggling to get out to the store or a friends is crazy! Yes I used that word again. I suppose that’s it for tonight. I am super tired with headache and storm outside maybe I will sleep well and get something done tomorrow. Time will tell.
Love to all…
lawhun_madden 
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