Yesterday mom and I drove my daughter to the airport. Up at 5am which is not bad if you sleep through the night but that doesn’t always happens as it was I had about 4/5 hours of sleep. We got her there without incident but was getting real tired driving home. I don’t even remember my head hitting the pillow when we got home around 11am. I find that if I do anything, anything at all I pay for it. I think that’s one of the things that sucks so much about Depression, anxiety and chronic pain. If I do make myself do something I pay for it for days. Anyone like me knows this as well. I have a dear friend with RSD-CRPS-Chronic Pain. ( http://www.ninds.nih.gov//reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy/detail_reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy.htm)
The link is if you are unfamiliar with RSD/CRPS. Anyway she will do something like myself and then is down like myself for three days. What kind of life do we have? I try to stay optimistic but the depression just seems to get worse. Today all I want to do is sleep but I am going to attempt some laundry and cleaning. We shall see how much gets done as I have good intentions but rarely get what I want to done. 😦
When I woke yesterday I downloaded an app onto my phone called SparkPeople which is a free app that helps you count calories, you can blog your progress, talk to others doing the same and more. I thought maybe if I watch my calories and get some weight back off that will help. Again good intensions but we shall see how it goes. I need to get at least the 25 pounds I gained back off when doctor switched my meds. I know I felt better about myself even though I was still dealing with my issues without this extra 25 pounds.
So yesterday I also found out a dear sweet man has passed. I worked with him and his wife over 15 years give or take. His visitation is tonight but I know I can’t attend because this man was know and loved by many. There will be far too many people there no amount of anxiety meds will help and I would just be a blubbering fool anyway. I morn for his wife as she and I were close at one point. I’m not sure what happened that we grew apart maybe not understanding depression I don’t know. Just another thing in my life that is what it is. I will pray for her healing during this time for sure.
I suppose that’s it for now as it is storming and I’m getting my usual migraine 😦
Love to all…
lawhun_madden 
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