Today I believe I hit just about every emotion possible. Between insurance companies, pharmacies, and doctors I am surprise my head didn’t explode. Seriously the pain clinic I talk to one person and get well no pain meds don’t necessarily stop working after time. Are you kidding me? 8 years on same pain med yea I think maybe my body is processing it differently. Then the next person is like well as times meds don’t work your body get’s immune. But then I’m the one that’s crazy when I get upset because their not hearing me. So I’m crying then I swore well that’s the wrong thing to do. Things weren’t going well and then I get chewed out by the manager for talking to her people in such a manner. I wasn’t calling her names but I did swear in my frustration. So now they are talking about takin me off the meds all together and just do therapy. Well thank you so much I can barely walk as it is so I keep gaining weight. It’s a vicious cycle. I ended up calling and apologizing for my swearing which was out of line but at this point I don’t know what they are thinking.
So that was the pain clinic issues. I was changing depression meds as well and insurance wouldn’t pay even after doctor sent letter saying I needed it blah blah. So I don’t get to change and maybe get better results cause of all the changes. Oh and I was told by the pain clinic it takes over an hour per person to deal with insurance etc. and frankly they don’t have the time for that and when I said I’m sorry I thought you were in it to care for the patient I get accused of manipulated what she said. I just couldn’t get a break today. Cried, was angered, frustrated, confused, I don’t even know what all I went through but I know now my eyes are swollen from all the crying. My poor mom sees me daily and knows what I deal with and she’s helpless.
Then last week I went into the OSF portal to ask for a refill on a script from that doctor (number 3 if you’re keeping track or 1 depending on how you look at it.) I see on my lists of issues I have diabetes for about a year now. I freak out because I have never been told this actually the opposite my blood work always comes back great. So I email the nurse wondering why if I have had this for a year I haven’t been treated (type 2 in case you were wondering). I copied and pasted what I was seeing because she returned my email quickly showing me what she was seeing on her end and said my labs are fine. Whew I would have freaked out all weekend had she not gotten with me so quickly. That’s what I am used to from my primary and my shrinks nurses. So the little scare has me drinking un-sweet tea with Stevia sweetener now. I use to take four McDonald’s sweet teas to work with me in the morning to get me through the day, and here at home was going through a pitcher of sweet tea a day. So Everything Happens for a reason I suppose. 🙂
Well got that off my chest now maybe I can go back to sleep.
Love to all….
lawhun_madden 
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