lawhun_madden

I turn 53 in 11 days. Is my life where I thought it would be? Definitely not. Although I never thought I would live to see 35. When I made it through that mildstone I was pretty shocked. I don’t really know why I didn’t think I would make it past 35 just had always had the feeling I wouldn’t. I definitely never thought I would be sitting at 52 on disability for Depression and Anxiety. No one plans it and it is so hard to explain to people. I would love to just get over it. I would love to just keep pushing through. I did that for years and finally broke. I am feeling so broken. I feel joy when I am transporting rescue dogs. I have good days and bad days but I have so much fear I cannot seem to address. It is so very frustrating. I wish people could understand it’s not something you can just get over. I have just gotten over or past a whole lot in this life and now here I am not the person I used to be hardly able to do what I used to love. I use to love people. Love meeting new people, interacting with people, now I am just a shell of the person I use to be.

Love to all….<3